My 5 Favorite Self Discovery Questions

Throughout my life there are two persistent questions that I’ve sought to answer; “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose in life?” As a biracial, multi-cultural and multi-passionate woman my search for belonging and self actualization has been a driving force in my self discovery journey. For so many people who want to live a purpose driven life the journey is filled with ups and downs, and I’ve learned along the way that the most powerful self discovery technique to move through confusion is deep questioning. 

When you’re able to identify and ask deep self discovery questions you begin breaking through the haze to see the fullness of your talents, the vision of your life, and the beliefs that are holding you back from living in the fullest expression of who you are.

If you’re feeling confused about your purpose in life, these questions will act as a guide to find your true self and your purpose in everyday life.

What am I curious about?

I grew up in Australia to an African-American father and a European-Australian mother. As a mixed-race black woman growing up with Australian family in a country where 76% of people are of European descent, I was always deeply curious about the other side, my African ancestry and culture. I wanted to understand the full picture of where I came from and the stories that shaped my life and so my search for my roots brought me to the USA in 2010. I allowed my curiosity to guide me and through this curiosity found my career purpose, my passions and even my husband!

Sometimes curiosity gives clues. Other times it just leads you straight towards the life, the work and the relationships you are destined to experience.

What would I rather feel?

I’ve found throughout my journey that confusion arises in response to something that doesn’t feel good anymore. I’m dreading going to work, I’m unhappy in my relationship, or maybe the thought of writing about that topic or speaking about this topic is completely killing my vibe. Sometimes it’s not so obvious; I may feel drained of energy because I’ve committed to doing something I’m not excited about or I’ve given away my time to someone when I’d rather be alone. 

Knowing what drains you of energy is a useful way to begin identifying the people, places and experiences that energize you so that you can invite more of them into your life and experience. The ability to name your negative feelings and identify how you’d rather feel is an essential skill to have in the self-discovery process.

Where did I come from?

I’ve found so much clarity in my self discovery journey by exploring the stories of the people who I came from; my parents and grandparents. It took me a really long time to realize that their experiences, talents, interests, pain and even trauma had been passed down to me whether I was conscious of it or not. For a long time I believed that they were all so dissimilar to me in terms of their desires, gifts and experiences and that my path as an adult was only mildly influenced by them. Then in early 2020 I began really exploring my mixed race heritage and with it I sent off for my DNA results, I began asking questions and learning stories, and really paying attention to my parents and where I came from. 

In the process I saw the ways in which my parents were reflected in my experience. The ways in which their parents were reflected in my experience. And it dawned on me that my body carries memories and messages that I was only able to decode as I honored the people who I came from.

What matters to me most?

There’s this phenomenal book called Building a StoryBrand that was written by Donald Miller. At first glance you may just think it’s a book about marketing, but in actuality it’s a revelatory piece of work summarizing what drives humans. In the book Donald Miller identifies the primary survival needs that underpin all of our desires to engage with brands and make purchases. From accumulating or conserving resources (i.e. making and saving money), to gaining status (i.e. being recognized or popular), to building social networks (i.e. making friends and being in community), to the sacrificial need for generosity (i.e. doing good to others) to creating meaningful lives, there are core values that drive us to engage with life and others.

At different times in my life I’ve prioritized different needs, but the two core desires that motivate me daily are the desire to create a meaningful life of impact and one that is worthy of recognition. Like Steve Harvey once said, “I want my grandkids’ kids to know my name.”

What do I want to be known for?

This is my absolute favorite question of all time! In the work that I do guiding mission-driven leaders through the process of building their personal brand and online teaching and coaching businesses, I’ve come to understand that so many of us desire to live a life worth remembering. But we get distracted chasing people and ideas that weren’t meant for us. We lose sight of ourselves and our visions in the pursuit of normalcy. We rarely stop to ask ourselves if the decisions that we are making are in alignment with where we ultimately want to be.

When you know what you want to be known for, whether it’s a specific idea or a more general theme, you can begin to show up in ways that are a representation of the person that you really are.

If you feel in your spirit that there is a call on your life to do big things, but you’re unsure on the next steps to take in order to bring your dreams to life then book a call to speak with me here.

Comment below and let me know what are your next steps in the journey of self-discovery.

Have a question about life or purpose? Have an idea for a blog post you’d like me to write? Send me your ideas or ask me anything.